End of the year derby musings

After filling out a livejournal (yes I still have one of those) meme about end-of-year reflections, I realized that most of them were derby related. I opted to refine them a bit and put them into three categories:

Triumphs:

1. Managing to finally pull off a decent attempt at a Sláy Ride. Granted, I didn't carry any of these people around in the impossibly awesome way that Beyonsláy did in that famous clip, but I did the basics of "hit, lift, drop" that had me going over the bout footage again and again in my parents' kitchen saying "look what I did, mom!"

2. Finally bouting after a whole year of waiting. I'll never forget that first bout for as long as I live. I've become a much better skater since then, but being able to put on a uniform and skate in front of my parents for the first time was such a milestone.

3. Not tearing my ACL after all. Man, that was a horrible week. I've never been more grateful for a visit to a specialist in my entire life. Thanks Dr. Troy for yanking and pulling on my leg and then letting me know that I was "going to be just fine."

4. Getting "Nuts' Best Team Player" at the awards ceremony this season. We voted on a few awards, and this was one of them. I never, ever saw that coming. Getting something people voted on almost made me lose it. For once, I was able to not sob like a goofball while doing something relating to my team, and I held it together while accepting it. I totally cried in the bathroom when I got home, though.

Regrets:

1. Wussing out at Speedy Dan practice. When I was overwhelmed by balancing off-skates tasks, I allowed myself to use that as an excuse to punk out on going to Speedy Dan practice and never got over my anxiety attacks. In retrospect, I wish I'd just sucked it up, cried through those speed drills, and eventually overcome my problems instead of letting the demons in my brain win.

2. Being down on myself more often than I probably deserved. More than one person has told me that I need to stop "looking at the ground" metaphorically speaking because I'll "just run into things." Sometimes I forget that I need to focus on the good things I do rather than on only the bad.

3. Never getting up the balls to try pivoting. Why does that role freak me out so much?

Hopes for next year:

1. I want to finally overcome my mental "speed barrier." When I'm playing a bout, speed is no problem. When I'm doing a drill and it involves racing, I'm screwed. I want to get over this stupid fear already because it's getting old.

2. I would kill to get an MVP award at a bout. Would I be the goofball who started crying while accepting the award? Oh hell yes, you bet.

3. I know I have it in me to be a better team player on the track. Getting best team player this season meant the world to me, and I want to live up to that as much as I can. The players I respect the most are the ones who can bring out the best in their teammates, and I want to be one of those some day.

Oh, the memories

All this talk of freshmeat has me looking back on my freshmeat days. Man, this was back when my thighs were soft and squishy enough to squeeze into pants. We took this photo in the back of the CRLS gym back when we were practicing there. Clearly this was either at a league meeting, or it was before we all put on our gear and started sweating. Man, I do NOT miss that horrible, nasty, impossibly sticky floor. I do miss fitting into pants, though.

We've all changed so much since this photo! From right to left:

• Dreadnought(aka the author of this blog) is still blocking her butt off for the Nuts and is a member of the Executive Board.
• Vicious Vivacious Vera captained the Cosmos last season and is still part of team SPACE BRAIN.
• Bully Mia continues to be a Pissah (fo' life, as they say) while co-heading Comm Comm.
• Queen Kamayhemmayhem transferred to the DC rollergirls and now skates for the Cherry Blossom Bombshells.
• Trixie Von Toxic had a lovely baby boy and is still with BDD as an Exec Board member and manager of the Pissahs.
• Xena ParadoX is transferring to Charm City and moving to the Baltimore area I type this.
• Trish Squish is captaining the Pissahs for the second year in a row.
• Sugar Hitsleft the Nuts this season to skate full time for the Massacre, and is head coach for the league for another season.
• Mrs. Dash is also taking her mad jamming skillz to the Massacre, leaving her beloved Cosmos after a year of captaining.
• Krushpuppy is taking a break from skating after captaining the Massacre for their first trip to Nationals.
• BritKnee Breaker is captaining the Nuts for a second season, and will be coaching the Massacre too.
• Varga Bomber is moving away after a season of captaining the Pissahs.
• Maude Forbid is rehabbing a knee injury while repping the treasury on the Exec Board, and will be returning this season to kick butt for the Pissahs.
• Nora'Easter left us for Maine some time ago, and will hopefully return to derby someday because she was so darned good.

It's weird to think that we all had to learn the skills we do automatically now. Sugar Hits used to have to think about crossovers in order to do them correctly, and now she's expertly teaching our freshies these very steps. Dash and Breaker had to get used to bending their knees, and now their crotches are about an inch from the ground when they skate. Squish had to learn how to lean people out, and now it's about as easy to move her as it is to push a city bus. I had to take my assessments over and over again in order to be stable enough to even attempt contact, and now I can (sometimes) pick people up with my butt.

When did we all get so good? Has it really been almost three years?

Apparently my skate book is pretty cool. :D

I checked my little traffic widget and noticed a bunch of hits from DNN. It took me a few minutes to discover the reason. Thanks DNN!

It's also mentioned on a few other derby blogs too. Holy crap.

Freshie cuts make Dread a sad panda.

We had our first round of freshmeat cuts this Wed and we lost three wonderful skaters. While none of them were part of my particular skater family (congrats Anna Ellen, Amanda, and Marisa) it didn't make it easy to say goodbye to the three women who didn't make it. I hope they try out again next season because we're definitely losing out on their awesomeness. :(

I'm so lucky my freshmeat experience didn't include cuts. That system was created the year after I joined in order to solve the problem of the freshies who fell behind those who had already passed [insert assessment here] and could do [insert advanced drill here]. While it helps keep training on track by making sure the pace of practice stays consistent, it sacrifices the skaters who take longer to mature. Skaters like me.

I was far from the best in my year. In fact, I was the second-to-last in my freshie class to be teamed, and spent over a year as an unteamed skater. If we had had cuts, I surely would have been gone in the first round. I remember how hard it was to skate on my own at the side of the rink while watching everyone else get teamed. By the end of that year I had cried myself to sleep more often than I like to remember. That long process has left some pretty big "skating self image" scars that will never fade.

I see myself in the skaters who got cut. As a freshie, I wanted to play derby as badly as they did, and I know exactly how it feels to look at the rest of the freshies and think "is this really how I rate?" I wouldn't wish my year of being one of the unwanted children of the BDD family on any of them, though. Still, I wouldn't wish on any of these ladies the "derby breakup" they're going through right now.

Old skate + bout posters + many years of art school = my awesome book

I started grad school at the same time I started roller derby, and it was massively difficult to balance a full time job with these other two major time-eaters. It took me about six months to realize that I could use derby as material for my thesis, and I'm so glad I did. It's saved my sanity, and I'm also pretty proud of the work I've been doing.

I've been making books. I haven't done this in a while, and I'd forgotten how much I used to enjoy this process. I made this one by taking a pair of shears to an old skate and drilling the pages into the plate... thank god the plate was made of nylon. The pages are cut-up sections of old bout posters, and the writing inside explains (in very loose terms) "The Game" of roller derby. I don't go into the details or cite rule 4.1.q.ƒ in the current WFTDA ruleset. However, I do outline the way points are scored, and the different positions we play.

I'm planning on making more books out of old derby materials. I have some old wristguards that could definitely use some love, despite the horrible smell they've developed after years of sweat and "Holbrook floor gunk." I should also consider working with some of the million tutus I've worn over this past season alone. It's nice to feel like I'm really on to something after so long.

Thanks Mona. :D

Mona Mour blogged about our awesome moment in the July bout this past season. That was one of the best moments of my derby career*, and I'm thrilled beyond belief that it happened directly in front of the camera.

It was always my derby fantasy to pick people up with my butt when I hit them. I hope I can keep up the good work this season.

*Topped in my next bout by executing the same move against Killary Clinton, only staying in bounds.

Out with season 3, in with season 4

It's been many moons since I've moved my quilt posts over to rollerderbyquilt.blogspot.com. I figure I should finally start using this thing again for its original purpose - to babble into teh intarwebs on the off chance that someone out there cares to read about my derby experience. Am I blogging into the darkness? Are other derby people actually reading this? I suppose it amounts to the same thing.

The season was pretty rich for me as far as BDD goes. The Nuts won the championship and remained undefeated this season (NUTS OUT!). I hit people and they fell down, and spent my share of time on the ground too. I continued to have panic attacks whenever I saw our speed coach (Speedy Dan) arrive at Wednesday practices. Our travel team placed third in the east and went to Nationals for the first time ever. My husband announced at Nationals and did a great job. My skater sister got "best rookie" for her team and I got "Best Team Player" for mine. I wore a tutu sometimes. It was ok.

Right now we're in our "off season," which basically means our "skating and practicing and working on committees, but not actually bouting" season. Our freshmeat are just starting contact, which is my favorite thing ever and I'm stupid excited to teach them whatever I can. It's probably going to be hard to top last season, but I'm pleasantly hopeful that this season will at least kick a decent amount of butt.

I was on the TV

Fox 25 came to a practice a few weeks ago to take a segment for "They've Got Game", a sports piece where two Fox dudes go and try different sports around town. The put on skates, wore helmet panties, and spent much of the practice falling backwards. It was a lot of fun.

Here is the segment, which aired last night at 10:45. I somehow wound up being one of the dames they interviewed. Trust me, it's worth watching this for both the falling and the part where I grunt and hit myself repeatedly.

"It's like... ghngnhngnhngngnhnhnhn!!!" *punch punch punch punch*

Derby this weekend. Please come! (Better yet, volunteer!)

We need help at the upcoming bout. Seriously. If you're around this saturday and would be willing to stand in a staircase for a few hours, we'll reward you with a great view of the action and hopefully a burrito for your troubles. Oh, and our eternal gratitude. I'm serious.

In other news, I'm bummed that tonight was my last practice for almost two weeks. I can't wait to go to Provincetown, but I'll miss skating. I've recently figured out how to make my body do this thing I've seen all the "good" skaters do at bouts, and I want to keep doing it. It's kind of a swoop, with both knees bent nice and low, and my weight leaning into my front leg. Hard to explain, and harder to figure out because no one can explain it, but you know it when you've finally gotten it just right. It's so useful when we swoop/hit/stop!

I feel like I'm finally starting to GET this sport. It's only taken me 2 years..... sheesh.

Nuts out!

We totally won. I am teh happy.
Steve was head of security. He is teh wiped out:

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Back to skating

Last night was my first practice back after being out with my knee injury. I was sure that I'd be useless after 2 month off skates, but I had a shockingly good practice! I need to get my timing back when hitting hard to the outside, and I need to get up more quickly when I fall. My jammer awareness could be better too, but all of these will come back quickly - they always have before.
Like other times, I seem to have come back with a few new skills! Normally one of my two Major Weaknesses is getting trapped behind people - I've never been able to maneuver quickly. Last night I did admirably well getting out from behind booty blocks, though. I've NEVER been able to do that before! Also, I've figured out how to do those annoying super-fast, repetitive little hits we've been working on.
All in all, I'm very proud. I can't wait to scrimmage this weekend. :D
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I might have "runner's toe"

Which means I'm on a one-way street to having no right big toenail. It's now hanging by a thread. This was the grossest thing I'd ever experienced until reading the following on a podiatry site:

"The avulsion technique was performed by simple hemostat blunt dissection under the nail using a ‘coke-bottle’ technique. "

Apparently this is what I have to look forward to if I have to have my toenail removed. Words simply cannot express the level of nasty that the phrase "coke-bottle technique" calls to mind.

Oh, and so you can have nightmares forever, here is an internet toe that bears striking resemblance to mine:

One trick pony.

Ooh neat, I'm in the local paper:

Check out my interview. If you watch the slideshow and listen to the audio you can hear me talk about hitting people. I also talk about hitting people, and I go into hitting people a little bit. I finish up with a piece about hitting people, and I stress several times that I really like hitting people.

I'm so one-dimensional sometimes it hurts. Sheesh.

FML

Great news about the knee, eh? Hooray for me! Oh wait, Jessie, you can't be happy for that long. We're revisiting last year's season, what with the injuries and being off skates. Since your knee is ok, why don't you come down with a nice fever! Say, 104 degrees? Let's fill your lungs and sinuses with dark greenish/brown glop, make it very difficult to breathe, and have your heart race until it feels like it'll burst out of your chest. I think that sounds just dandy.

Screw everyone for not washing their goddamned hands at the hospital. Screw me for not doing it either. I can't win. I CAN'T WIN.

Hooray for my knee!

I went to the ortho specialist today, and left in tears. These were tears of absolute joy, because I apparently only have a medial meniscal tear, and not the blown ACL that I was sure I had. After wobbling my leg around a whole bunch, he said the most beautiful words in the English language:

"You're fine, now walk."

He said my ACL felt strong, my MCL felt strong, there was no noticeable fluid on my knee, and only minor swelling. The rehab is to use a stationary bike to work on my range of movement, and to "skate as soon as possible" to get my knee back up to speed. I'll only need an MRI if I don't see any improvement. Even if I need surgery (which he says isn't likely) the recovery time will be very quick because it's not very invasive. I can't BELIEVE my luck. 

I got to walk out of the office carrying my crutches. I was sobbing because I was so happy. I missed a golden opportunity, though - I so wanted to throw my crutches and leg immobilizer to the ground and scream "HALLELUJA! I'm HEALED!" and skip out of there. However, looking around at the patients with their broken this and that (and crucifixes on chains) made me reconsider.

Vitamin awesome.

I'm pretty sure I blew my ACL. I hope next season is as awesome as this very short season was. :(


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Goths on Wheels - desperately need help getting there

Is anyone interested in going to Goths on Wheels on Saturday? I'm trying to get them some BDD tickets for one of their prizes, and this would be much easier if I could actually go. Damn this whole not-driving thing.

Anyway, here's the info. If anyone is interested in going please let me know PLEASE.

At least I can say more about this third "CONGRATS", because there was an audience.

I ended my security stint at tonight's NHRD bout on the floor, screaming wordlessly as they won their first ever home bout against PRD's Killah Bees. I was literally on all fours, pounding the concrete floor with my fist (ow), and crying hysterically while screaming "YES! YES! YES! I LOVE YOU NHRD". I have never done anything even close to that at a sporting event in my life. I thought I was going to have a stroke I was screaming so hard.

I now understand why people attend professional sports games in the winter while topless and covered in team-colored body paint. When Rosie got lead jammer in the last jam of the night I wanted to rip my shirt off and wave it like a flag.

I remember showing Dee Stortion and Dementia A-Go-Go how to do plough stops in a parking lot last July when their league practices consisted of a handful of girls dodging clumsy pre-teens at an open skate in Tyngsboro. They've come so far, and built this league up from nothing, and I'm so proud of them I can't contain myself.

Today was a really, really good day for so many people I love. Way to go, life. Thanks for taking such good care of my friends. :D

Yikes.

The score last night:

Nuts (aka my team) 124
Pissahs 42

That's two games for us with a ridiculous point differential in our favor. I'm actually having a tough time being super wicked happy because I feel kind of bad. I'm definitely proud - I think we played a great game, especially considering the fact that we were down four players and almost everyone was in every other jam. Still, 82 points..... yikes. Maybe I'm still hanging on to last year's hundred point defeat of the Nuts and how that felt. The circumstances were hugely different this time around (totally different players on the Pissahs, the rancor between the teams was pretty much nil) but I just hope they didn't feel like the Nuts did last year.

Either way, it was a blast playing the Pissahs. I loved how they came over before skating through the curtain and hugged every one of us. How classy was that? There was a lot of hugging and praising between Nuts and Pissahs after the game too. Also, when their theme song came on during the after party, the Nuts and Pissahs all danced together. That *never* would have happened last year. 

I think the next time we play them will be very different - their new skaters will have had another bout under their belts, and they'll have had a few months to gel as a team. Granted, I hope we'll have our injured players back, but either way I think it'll be a lot closer. Same with the Cosmos. The learning curve is steeper for new players than vets, and I anticipate some really tough fights as the season goes on.

This too shall pass, but this morning is fired.

I'm feeling really strained and overextended today. A lot of this was because practice was really draining for me yesterday, but the mountain of housekeeping-type-crap I had to do this morning contributed.

Reasons why I'm feeling low today:

1. Last night at practice I had some kind of asthma-like event. I've never had asthma, so I'm not sure if I've just developed it or if there's another name for non-sufferers who suddenly can't breathe at all. I haven't been able to breathe through my nose for almost a month, so perhaps it's an allergy thing... either way it was really frightening and I'm scared about it happening again.

All I know is that I was having a tough time keeping up because I couldn't get enough air, and then suddenly I REALLY couldn't get enough air, and then I felt like I was getting absolutely no air at all. The little primitive survival part of me totally freaked out and went "I'm DYING!!!! OMGOMGOMG" and I had a panic attack. I spent a good chunk of the next fifteen minutes crying like a baby on Holly Nass's shoulder, and alternated skating laps alone and participating in the slower drills because I kept having wheezing fits all night.

Oh, and when I totally lost my shit I also blabbed about every insecurity I have about my skating (mostly into Nass's armpit) so I'm still feeling embarrassed and childish and whiny. I'm trying to actively focus on all the nice things she said, and all the "this isn't your fault - your body needed air" comments she made, because she's totally right. I think I'll internalize that more with time, but that's definitely an uphill battle for me.

2. (largely resolved) I couldn't get a doctor's appointment to see what the hell happened to my body last night. The lady on the phone didn't quite seem to understand the urgency of "OMG I couldn't breathe WTF?" and was suggesting appointments for, say, NEXT MONTH. I was so pissed and tired and grouchy that I totally cried after the phone call. However, the Nurse Practitioner in the office called back and offered to double-book me for the first appointment tomorrow so I could squeeze in early. I don't even have to miss any of my classes because it's during my prep. This has taken some of the load off, and I'm grateful. Thank goodness for people overhearing phone calls in crowded offices.

3. I tried to see what the procedure was for paying my current outstanding bill for grad school with the voucher from my student teacher. This involves getting three different offices to agree upon the same issue, and I'm unable to reach the right people in any of the three offices. In my fantasy world, I go to class on Thursday, hand in the voucher, they say "KTHXBYE" and I've paid for the class. Apparently this is only possible in a land where leprechauns ride unicorns who vomit sunshine and piss wishes.

So yeah, being emotionally vulnerable followed by stupid bureaucracy crap is a recipe for frustration, grumpiness, and a lousy morning. I want to eat cake and hug my dog while Steve makes me laugh and the cat meows insistently for more food.

Hooray!

Another skater called me "the bulldozer in a tutu" today. That was pretty awesome.

I love my life.

I did a really good job. :)


-- Post From My iPhone

Finally.

Tonight at 7PM I get to play roller derby, on a team, in front of my parents and friends. I've been waiting for this for a long time.

Come to my first bout this Saturday or I will have you shot.

My first bout with BDD is this freakin' Saturday!!! Please come, wear pink, make signs, and cheer for my team, the Nutcrackers. Info below:



DOUBLE HEADER!!!

Doors at 4 pm
Shriners Auditorium, Wilmington, MA
Tickets $14 in advance, $16 at the door (good for both bouts of the double header)
Season tickets now available!

Bout #1: 5 pm: Boston Massacre vs.
Charm City Roller Girls (Baltimore, Maryland)
Bout #2: 7 pm: Nutcrackers vs.
Cosmonaughties

Security needed for BDD's bout on 3/21

Boston Derby Dames need people to work security for the March 21st bout. It's a really easy job where you get to be right next to the action and keep our paying customers from getting on the track, in the locker rooms, or in the ladies' faces. It's actually fun and we all get to hang out. 

You also get to see a lot of derby action for free.

Who would be able to help us out

WHY DOES THIS COMMERCIAL HAUNT MY DREAMS!?!?!?!!??

I can't stop singing this stupid song. What does it even MEAN??!?!?!? It makes no sense! I mean, if the fish in the sandwich were taken from the fish on the wall, how does McDonald's figure into the process? If the sandwich came from another fish, how does giving the sandwich to the fish on the wall solve the problem? Who is that bearded dude, and why is he giving the other dude such a knowing look? Isn't that a plastic fish?

Math is hard! My head is going to explode. There are no answers in this commercial, only questions!

ATTN: my first bout is coming up. Please come!!!

Please please please mark your calendars! I'm skating in my first Boston Derby Dames bout with the Nutcrackers on March 21, and I'd be thrilled to see some familiar faces in the audience.

Info below:



DOUBLE HEADER!!!

Doors at 4 pm
Shriners Auditorium, Wilmington, MA
Tickets $14 in advance, $16 at the door (good for both bouts of the double header)
Season tickets now available!

Bout #1: 5 pm: Boston Massacre vs. Charm City Roller Girls (Baltimore, Maryland)
Bout #2: 7 pm: Nutcrackersvs. Cosmonaughties

Bout #1: Almost two years since first facing off against (and n-a-r-r-o-w-l-y beating) Charm City, the Boston Massacre once again hosts Baltimore's hard-hitting all-stars. Read the April 14, 2007 bout recap or the recap of the Wicked Pissah's April 2008 smackdown of Charm City's champion Night Terrors in a Season Two expo bout.

Halftime set by While Rome Burns.

Bout #2: And kicking off the home team season, the second bout of the evening sees the Nutcrackers take on the Cosmonaughties for the first time since Season Two's playoff bout in April 2008. The home teams have come out of the off-season with seriously shaken up rosters, new leadership, and still-untested rookies. Will the Nuts have an advantage with a veteran-heavy team? Or will the Cosmos capitalize on the energy of their freshmeat skaters?

After party in the Fez Room with DJ John Barera

Please come! I can't say how much it would mean to me!

Kaboom

My bum is big. It levels cities. This is me now:



Photo by Alicia Zamarro

... and I hope to become this:



I think I have it in me.

Opinions?

Ahoy hoy - I need opinions! Which photo should I choose for the BDD website and bout program?




Please think about how awesome I look, and not just how cute my dog is. ;) I think I look kind of pretty in the pug one, and kind of monster-y in the other one. Argh! Decisions!

I need help thinking of an intro line!

When skaters are announced at bouts, they often have an intro line before their name. For example:

"She puts the lotion in the basket, it's Jodie Faster!"
"Try as you might, you can't keep her down, it's Bully Mia!"

I need one by tonight for a bout I'm guest-skating in down in CT, and I have no ideas. Does anyone have any suggestions? My derby name is "Dreadnought", which is the first all-big-gun battleship. It's also a "heavy support" troops choice for Warhammer 40K - a Dreadnought is basically a giant robot-bodied warrior. I'm looking for something that explains that I'm a giant war machine. I hit hard, I'm big, I'm strong.... etc. etc.

PLEASE HELP!

First mixed vet and freshie scrimmage!

Tonight was my first practice back after about two weeks break. This break was forced by one flu, then a snowstorm, then MLK day, then freshie assessments. Oh, and also the fact that a bolt came loose on my plates and I couldn't skate on them for a bit. Once it was explained that I'd been trying to correct the problem by tightening the wrong bolt, I was shakily back on skates, hoping to god my trucks didn't fall off in the middle of a jam.

While it took me the first half of the scrimmage to actually pay attention to the game around me (I was too focused on worrying about my skate falling apart and breaking my leg), I pulled it together in the second half. I'm especially proud of:

1. A few sweet booty blocks - I was using my booty more during this scrimmage than I have in a while. Since discovering that I can hit well, I'd kind of stopped booty blocking, even though I knew that it was a more long-term, conservative way to control the other team's players. Tonight I remembered why I used to like doing that so much. I'll have to keep it up.

2. I was using my teammates more than I ever have before. I'd see a fellow blocker on my outside, see the jammer coming up on that side, and rather than cut across said blocker and going in for a hit, I'd push her instead. Go me and my improving track awareness.

3. Actually getting my mind off of my wonky skate problems in the first place. I can get way up into my head, and that was a huge contributor to my struggle last season. Had this been a year ago, I'd have probably given up and found a reason to sit out more jams (or possibly the scrimmage itself) while tinkering with my skate. Instead, I stuck it out, and my skate wound up being fine. Once I made myself focus on the game, I was doing well again. I want to make sure to get used to this process for when I'm inevitably having all kinds of nerves at a bout, where saying "I'll just wait until next week" isn't an option.

My goals for the next scrimmage are:

1. Play outside more. I never play that, and I need to learn that role.
2. Booty block more. I'm not half bad at that, and I should be trying to get even better.
3. Fall back more quickly. I still keep finding myself at the front of the damned pack, even when playing back. I've got to get over that.

Ahh balls.

Freshie assessments were last night, and one of my skater sisters was cut. She and I ride together to practice, and we've gotten pretty close. I'm beyond upset about this. :(

Oh, and my skates are messed up.

Hooray.

The off season is over, let the posts begin...

Now that my migraine is gone, and I can see again, I'll get back to the obsessive computing that is my usual afternoon routine.

Last year was a tough derby year, and there were some days when the only thing that kept me going were the lists of three good things I'd done during practice. While this season has started off extremely well for me, I'm hoping to keep going with this anyway. Looking back on how far I'v come was a huge help when I was down, and I can only imagine it will be even nicer when I'm up, too.

Anyway, my goal for last night's scrimmage (the first back after the off-season) was to get off one really good hit. Instead:

1. I lost track after the 7th. I Didn't get any "elbows" or "forearms" penalties in the first half, and I'm not sure about the second... so as far as I know I hit cleanly. I had one jam where I got off three good hits within a few seconds of each other - one to clear one opposing blocker for our jammer, one immediately after to get back into position, and one on the opposing jammer, knocking her out of bounds.
2. I had a crazy Gumby moment where someone hit me, I started to go down on one knee, and then someone fell in front of me and knocked my foot out from under me completely. I managed to balance on a leg that was barely a a 90 degree angle while the other was in the air behind me, and push myself back up without ever actually falling. I felt like a super hero!
3. Xena and I made some really good walls, and at least once she booty blocked someone and I hit them, rat-trap-style.

Things to work on for the next scrimmage:
1. When I hit, I need to change direction and get back with the flow of traffic faster. I need to progress from BOOM....... catch up to BOOMcatchup.
2. I totally hit Maude Forbid in the face with my head during one block. I should have had much more control over myself. I've never blocked with my head before!
3. I need to slow down and cover the back of the pack more. Funny, I love playing inside and back, and yet I race too far forward when trying to keep the other team's inside and/or back blocker behind me. My next Big Goal is to not race the opposing team's [insert position here] blocker and rely on booty blocks, walls, and check blocks to keep her slow.

so angry

[NOTE: I'm in a horrendous mood right now, and will probably feel very silly later when my skates finally do arrive]

Stupid slow-ass express mail. I hate New Year's. It's a boring holiday that only inconveniences me by making my newly-mounted skates NOT arrive overnight, despite paying extra for expedited shipping. Everything about that holiday is stupid, and I spend every New Years wanting to do something fun, but not being able to because there are too many drunk people in restaurants, on the roads, and in my way. It's a stupid, arbitrary holiday where nothing cool happens. There's no good food, people only get together to do things I don't enjoy, and nothing good is on TV.

How was this past Wednesday any different than Thursday? In my eyes, not at all.

I want some damned ice cream. GOD I'm so cranky.