OMG EARLY XMAS

My new Bont skate boots came!!!!! Hooray! I'm preheating the oven so I can heal-mould them to my feets now. I'm so excited!!!

..... HOORAY!

Metal Sugarplum Fairy?

Does anyone know of a badass rendition of the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy from the Nutcracker? Hell, any well-known Nutcracker piece will do.... If there's a metal cover out there, or if any of you would be willing to record one for me for xmas, I would be forever in your debt.

Techno is a good second choice, just so you know.

Reminder: we've moved to rollerderbyquilt.blogspot.com

I just posted two new posts, with nifty images and all kinds of amazing information. Want to learn which foreign country sent me a square last week? Check the new blog. Want to see how giant the quilt is now? Check the new blog. Want to learn how to make real, working X-Ray specs? Check the new blog.

Why are you still reading this? Go ahead and CHECK THE NEW BLOG already!!!

What an excellent weekend.

Rather than do a long post about the amazing surprise party that Steve planned, I'll simply say this:

I never saw it coming in a million years, and every time I think about walking through those doors and seeing all of those people yelling "SURPRISE" I still get choked up. That definitely goes down among the top three happiest days of my life, ranking up there with the night Steve and I got together (when he told me he loved me), our wedding this summer, and now this. Pretty sweet.

Steve is the best husband ever.

:)

Tonight has been one of the best nights of my entire life. I have the most wonderful husband ever.

-- Post From My iPhone

Moving to a new URL...

ATTENTION! I'm moving to a new blog to make this whole "roller derby quilt" thing more obvious and easy to find. The new URL is:

rollerderbyquilt.blogspot.com

Go there, comment, and look at the new squares from London's Rockin' Rollers!

I'm bouting this year.... you should come see me.

Because I finally get to skate in front of people this season (hooray for me!) you should go to the bouts this year. I'm a Nutcracker, as you can see by my awesome featured rollergirl page.

Make sure you go to the Nuts bouts! In fact, you should BUY SOME TICKETS for holiday gifts to make sure that TONS of people holding "Nuts Out" and "I <3 Dreadnought" signs are in attendance. Do this or I won't love you anymore.

I'm not kidding. Not even slightly.

Derby derby and more derby

Since the season started up last month I literally can't stop thinking about roller derby. I'm obsessed. When I'm alone I visualize especially good blocks I threw at the last practice, or I imagine walking into the street and knocking over cars. I fantasize about getting new skates, or think about new ways to explain skills to my new skater sisters. It's become all I think about this season and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

If I could go to practice every day I would. Lately all I want to do is skate around and hit people.


-- Post From My iPhone

OW.

Sunday was my first practice after our long off-season (plus being sick for a week), and I had a blast. It felt so weird to be one of the strong skaters for once (since it was a newbie practice) and that's still messing with my head... I can't shake the mental image of being physically larger than the new skaters... Not in a fat-ass way, but in a "little kid drawing with the adults being HUGE" way. Was this how last-year's vets felt?

I think a sad, broken little piece of me is falling away like old skin. Well, at least I hope so. I dragged myself through the year and, from an emotional standpoint, finished the season running on fumes. By getting teamed right at the very end, I didn't have time to adjust to the status of being a teamed skater, and I was still carrying around the "I'm unteamed and everyone is better than I am" mentality. That definitely left scars, but being in the "giving advice" role was extremely healing for me. 

I hope that continues, because it feels so good.


-- Post From My iPhone

Vitamin awesome

Being sick is horrendous, but the new skaters are pretty fabulous. :D


-- Post From My iPhone

Home sick, day 2.

I made the right decision in staying home. I feel like donkey poop. I'm still going to the Freshmeat and Greet tonight because that doesn't require nearly as much activity. All I have to do is talk about non-skating BDD stuff, smile, be friendly, and drink lots of water. I can handle that.

Since this has taken all of my available energy, here is a photo from Halloween. I wore this to work, and felt pretty cool:

Goodness me...

I'm the featured rollergirl on the Boston Derby Dames site! Great writeup of the quilt, too...

What an eventful couple of days.

Between tryouts, the tryout decision meeting, emailing the new skaters, and the election, I've barely had a second to myself. I'm currently at a small election party at Rumble Pie's house, and while I'm so tired I could cry, I'm also having a lovely time.

I hope the election goes as well as choosing the new skaters did. Fingers crossed...

The quilt so far:

-- Post From My iPhone

Portrait-in-progress

Check out the super-awesome portrait that a fabulous artist namedPaigey is working on. I feel like a huge dork, but I've always wanted to have my portrait done, but I'm usually too much of a wimp to ask. Pretty neat, eh?

awesome awesome awesome

Bood and Thunder wants to do a story on the Roller Derby Quilt! Holy shit! I totally didn't think that email would actually work. At the very most I thought it would yield a little mention in a small article about roller derby art. Not an entire story unto itself.

They want to do six pages! Holy shit!

New squares!

I got some new squares over the past few months. Here is a belated update:

Maude Forbid screen printed a Boston B Party shirt to represent our B Team:

EZ Bake Shovin' retired this year, but she donated a square because she's just that fabulous:

This is a square-in-progress made up entirely of used track tape from one of our summer bouts:

Death by Roxy sent this from Vermont. It's made up entirely of used skate laces. Brilliant idea:

This is a uniform piece by the lovely ladies of NHRD:

And finally, a shot of the quilt as it is right now in its safety-pinned-together state:

I may have created a monster.

How have things been going in quilt-land, you ask? Since my decision to base my MSAE thesis project on roller derby has been approved, it's been going almost freakishly well. The panel that reviewed my benchmark presentation was pretty gung-ho about the quilt, and I've been given the go-ahead to go bat-shit crazy with this until my thesis show next year. Ever since last week it's been a quilt-o-rama at the Dread household, and then I got the crazy idea to email everyone I could possibly think of who's life has been touched by roller derby.

I spent the better part of three hours on Monday emailing every single league on the western half of the US in the hopes of getting a few more squares for the quilt. Over the past three days I have received over a hundred responses. Many are "I'll post this to my league and hopefully someone will contact you", which is simply fabulous. However, quite a few have been significantly more awesome. Thanks to everyone who has responded, but special thanks go to these three anonymous leagues:

"... can I have your mailing address and I'll send it out this week!!!"

"Oh, you're so lucky the crafter on our league also maintains the MySpace!"

"I can easilly put together a few squares to send off for you to add, but what I would really like to do is contribute a whole panel..."

I've simply taken to squealing every time I hear the little "ping" of my inbox getting another email. Tonight I'll hit the eastern half of the country, and I'll use this weekend to work on contacting international leagues. In my fantasy world, every state and every country will be represented on the quilt. That might be too much to ask, but a girl can dream...

Yay for my new skater bio!

Since I was teamed this summer (HOORAY FOREVER YAAAAAAY NUTS OUT!!!!) I thought it would be a good idea to rewrite my bio. Ruby was kind enough to throw it on the site super-quickly, and this is the result.

Now, I need a photo of me looking all badass in a tutu and I'm all set.

Feelin' good.

Things are pretty nice. I like my life. :D

Arlington to Bedford and back.

Daaaaaaamn that's a long trip on skates. I think I'll collapse for a while before I have to work on school stuff.

Derby girls are everywhere.

This morning we skated with Twisted Pixie, a skater from a new league in NY. We had a great time skating around in the basketball court and talking about derby. She skates in an OSDA league (they're working on building a guy team, girl team, and a co-ed team), and she cross dresses, so our derby experiences have been very different. We talked about derby names, and different ways of blocking, and drills we've done. We're planning to skate again tomorrow too, and I'm psyched.

I love how easy it is to make connections like this through roller derby. If I had been walking down the street in bondage pants and purple synth dreads and I passed another person dressed similarly, I'd be as likely to get a snotty look as a smile. If I see another person on roller skates with a jersey carrying a derby-esque name, we geek out for a while and make plans to practice together and have breakfast. 

Derby can be as cliquish as any goth club, but it's funny how that mainly seems to apply to one's own league. Meeting people from other leagues has always come with an almost creepy level of acceptance. I don't get it. Still, I really like it. :D

I love skating.

Today has been AWESOME. Highlights include:

1. Watching a bunch of morons in a car get trapped in the throng of drag queens going to drag bingo. One real beast of a woman in said car yelled "get off, faggot!" when a drag queen tried to pose for a photo next to the car, and even hit the drag queen when she walked over to the car window. This is obviously a colossally bad idea when in Provincetown, surrounded by about a hundred gay people. The drag queen returned the favor by nailing the bigot pretty hard in her torso, and the crowd cheered. I half expected the crowd to flip over the car!

2. Speaking of fierce, one shop in Ptown bought a bunch of Project Runway gowns! We saw them on display the other day, but two drag queens wore two of them to drag bingo tonight. One was in the Christian Siriano prom gown (it really is hideous) and the other was in the Stella trash bag gown (so, so, so bad). I got to see both up close and see how jacked up they are inside. Crazy stitching everywhere! It's a good thing the judges don't see what's inside them...

3. We met another derby girl! Well, she skates as a woman, and does OSDA as opposed to WFTDA. We're meeting "Twisted Pixie" tomorrow at the basketball court for some skating. So awesome.

4. Steve looked hella handsome in his cowboy hat and huge stompy boots. It's fun to walk around with such a hot cowboy during the cowboy-themed Carnival week.*

5. Skating around in a frilly pink thing while eating fried dough made me feel oddly like a little girl in a fairy princess costume. I can't describe how much fun that was. I want to do this all the time.  I definitely get a lot of fun attention this way. Lots of photos of me will surface on the flickr pages of total strangers later in the week. Hopefully my ass looks good, because you could definitely see it.

6. I'm very aware of how much better I've gotten as a skater since I tried street skating here last year. I'm not as terrified of the hills and potholes as I was before. Sometimes I need reminders that I've improved so much. It feels pretty great.

*No one has openly mistaken him for a drag king yet. I'm sure it's only a matter of time.

Hooray!

Steve has been waking me up as early as possible (not that early) so we can go to a little basketball court near my parents' P-Town rental. This is where we're practicing skating. I still can't believe such a perfect skating surface just happened to be a two-minute walk from the place we're staying.

It's fun to go out skating with him. He's making SO MUCH PROGRESS in a short time! He'll be ready to skate around at the skating rink in no time. He's bending his knees, leaning into turns, and barely falling at all. Hell, when he does fall, he falls the right way - toward his pads and not on his back. :D Hooray for my skating monkey!

I just hope I'm not being a huge annoying jerk as I try to learn how to do hop-turns. I'm so worried about being that dumb-jock boyfriend who wants to "teach" his girlfriend basketball and spends the whole time stealing the ball, dunking, and doing victory dances.

Hee hee

I skated up and down Commercial St. today and had a lovely time. Steve walked with me, kindly carrying my crocs so we could stop for a lunch break. On hills I tended to lose him (because I'd have to speed up to go uphill, and I couldn't help but pick up even more speed on my way down). While I felt bad about that, this gave him the chance to overhear some choice things that people said about me when I was out of earshot. Two gems:

The (presumably) straight-ish couple
Woman: [whispers to the dude with her]
Dude: So go tell her that!
W: No!
D: It's ok. We're both attracted.

The two gay guys on bikes passing us in the opposite direction as I race down a steep hill in a deep squat
Guy 1: I just wanted to smack her ass.
Guy 2: Yeah, but she looks like one of those derby girls. She'll probably kick your ass.

I love Provincetown. I want to keep my skates on all the time here.

TUTU!

I just got back from Patterson's Back Bay Dancewear. It was the best mother-daughter trip ever. It's a dance place in Burlington, MA, and we went there in search of a tutu. As you can see, we found one.

We spent about a half hour digging through the craziest ballet, hip hop, jazz, modern, and flamenco dancewear that I've ever seen. I even saw ice-skating dresses. I was in a totally different world, and I was completely shocked at how much fun I was having. My tutu and sparkly-thing-loving, rhinestone-obsessed inner child is alive, well, and doing little pirouettes in my heart. :D

Naturally, when we got home, everyone had to take a turn in the tutu. Well, the dogs didn't really want to, but we have opposable thumbs and used them to assert our places as dominant members of this tutu-wearing pack. I think Goblin could rock a little version of this one if I appease her with enough snausages. Molly barked through the whole thing, but we managed to get her to hold still juuuust long enough to pose for a photo. I'm sure the neighbors thought we were stark raving mad.

After about a million dog treats and a million more blurry photos later, the humans had to have a go in the tutu. I wish I could get them to wear them to my first bout in the Spring. I suspect they wouldn't be as easily persuaded as the dogs, though. Anyone want to donate a new convertible or a house on Commercial St. in Provincetown or pretty much anywhere in Tuscany?

Photographic evidence

I told you I really do play roller derby.

Wow, they work fast.

They updated The BDD website to reflect the new team draft stuff. I should really update my bio.

Hooray!

I feel really, really good. :D

YAAAAAAAAAY!

I'm a Nutcracker!

I'm on a team with Xena. I'm so happy it's just insane.

Even better than the above, Steve totally saved my ass from taking a very, very expensive and lengthy cab ride back home from Boston. He is the best husband ever.

Yaaaaay! My summer has absolutely rocked. BEST SUMMER EVER!

Doot doot doot

Getting teamed tonight. Doot doot doot.



My guess is that I'll either be a Wicked Pissah (in red) or a Nutcracker (in pink), judging by the fact that one of the other team-able skaters is a longtime Cosmonaughtie (who was out for over a year with a torn ALC and returned unteamed). I suspect that they'll either team one of each of the three team-able skaters on each team, or the Pissahs will get two and the Cosmos one because the Nuts have the largest team right now. Then again who knows? The Pissahs might get the above-mentioned former Cosmo because she's an excellent Jammer and they need jammers like whoa.

No matter what, though, it'll work out, because each team has its own strengths and weaknesses. With the league restructuring, it's almost a matter of which uniform I like the best. ;)

Man! I have no idea how this will go! GOD I can't wait until tonight. I can't wait I can't wait I can't wait. Tomorrow I will buy socks in the appropriate colors and get to work on making either a tutu, a red pleated skirt, or something with a rocket on it if my logic is insanely off.

Elbow?

Last night I landed really hard on my right elbow. Don't worry, it's nothing permanently damaging or life-threatening. However, I have my first crazy elbow bruise. It's kind of neat having a bruise people can actually see. So far all of my really good ones have been too close to my swimsuit area to be very show-offable. I wonder if my whole elbow will go purple, or if it will just stay this lovely reddish-brown.

Oh yeah, I'm totally being teamed tomorrow. Just a reminder. :D

More happy news:

My first bout will be next spring (you know, because I'm being TEAMED), but I'm skating in New Hampshire Roller Derby's first ever public scrimmage this Saturday, and it would mean the world to me to see you there holding sparkly signs telling the world how much I rule. I'm one of the "Dastardly Dragons" so wear green and black and wear any dragon-related renaissance-faire crap you own. Here is the official info from the NHRD site:

Come and check out NHRD's Double Header! New Hampshire, Boston, Providence, Pioneer Valley, and Albany are coming together for one hell of a showdown!

NHRD presents...A Double Dose of Derby
Saturday, August 2
JFK Coliseum, Manchester, NH
doors at 4, first scrimmage at 5

Tickets: $5 in advance, $7 at the door. Get 'em now at www. nhrollerderby. com.

So happy. You have no idea.

I'd just like to mention once again that I'm going to be teamed. TEAMED!!! Oh my god.

AAAAAHAHHAHHAAAAAA!!!!!!! I AM TEH AWESOME@!!!!

I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to be teamed! I find out on Thursday which one. Oh my god oh my GOD OH MY GOD I DID IT!!!!!!!

So close and yet so far. Wish me luck.

Tonight is the third-to-last team draft before the unteamed skaters "end skater training". Tonight I'm either going to be teamed (if I'm deemed "bout eligible") or "affiliated"* (if my skating doesn't make the grade, but my attendance, effort, and attitude/coachability are up to par). So on the one hand, it's kind of a win/win, as I'll know which team I'll be on either way (because it's been implied** that I'm ok to be affiliated.) On the other, it's very nerve-wracking because if I don't make the grade this time, I only have two more chances before I'm asked politely to "find another role to play in BDD besides skating". :/ Granted, I can't imagine I'll have a problem being "bout eligible" by December, but still... seeing the ground rushing up is scary, even when you have a few more handholds to grab on your way down...

Being unteamed for a full year has absolutely sucked. The impact it's had on me has been profound in ways that no one could hope to understand without being in my shoes. My perception of myself has been so tied in with being an unteamed skater that I don't know how else to see myself, and part of me is just assuming that this will go on forever. If I can skate well enough tonight to be teamed I'll completely lose my shit, because I genuinely have no clue at all how much of this "not quite good enough"-ness is simply in my head. I have absolutely no idea how far from being teamed I really am. For all I know, I could be on the same level as skaters who I'm simply assuming will be teamed, but then again I could be among the skaters who everyone knows won't make it this time around. I don't know at all and no one can tell me.

The not knowing is killing me, and that's why I'm pants-shittingly nervous right now. Seriously, I can't eat.*** It's that bad. It's not like me to be this much of a wreck, but I am. It's not because I'm worried about having a spotlight trained on me - I can handle that. It's that right now is my first chance to finally get out of this dark, miserable hole I've been in all year, where I've felt like the worst skater, someone who didn't matter, someone who would never be good enough, and someone who didn't fit in at all. I've been so hung up on being an unteamed skater, and I want to be teamed so badly I can't stand it. I just haven't really let myself think about that because being teamed was always so absurdly far away that it was just too painful to think about. Now that it's so close it's really hitting me how awful this has all been. I'm finally admitting to myself that I want to be teamed instead of repeating "it's no big deal, I can wait" over and over like lines from a play. 

If I don't make it I'll go back to playing my part, but man, it would be such a relief if I could stop the act. Convincing myself that it doesn't matter takes so much effort. I don't know how much more of it I can take. 

I'm just so goddamned tired.

* Meaning that I'll essentially be a benched skater for a specific team who becomes a full, skating member before the next season starts, assuming I can be deemed "bout eligible" before the last-chance-final-cut-thing on December 14th.
** I think it's been directly stated that I'm at least going to be affiliated, but I hate hate HATE counting my chickens before they're hatched, and I have such a "trust no one" policy programmed into me from working at CRLS for so many years....
*** However, I'm forcing things like V8 juice and granola bars down so I don't pass out during the scrimmage, so don't worry.

I lived for this show when I as in elementary school.

If only someone could have told me then that I'd be playing roller derby now. Sure, I'm grateful that the action is real now and that there are no tie-breaking alligators, but I do miss the wall of death.

Either way I'm glad we wear helmets, though. That was just nuts.

ETA: Oh my god. I must have blocked this out. Could I be hallucinating this CA-RAZY semi-nude man dancing around with the fricking ALLIGATOR?!?!?!?!?



Find more videos like this on RollerFans.com

Robot ape dance party

I'm going to marry that space ape. My fiancé is the best scary mascot ever.

"Japanese anime roller derby quilt square"

While procrastinating I discovered the above item for sale on Etsy.com. Fancy that, a quilt square using Manga-esque roller derby illustrations. Too funny.

Yeah BDD. Way to be prominently featured in the Globe today.

Check out BDD in the Boston Globe. This is an awesome article, and I love love love the photo of Sugar Hits.

Skating the AIDS walk

Here is my impression of today's AIDS walk:

Skate skate skate skate... "OH CRAP! DIRT!"... t-stop... t-stop... T-STOP... walking on toe stops.... skate... skate... skate... "OH GOD ANOTHER HILL"... plough stop... "OH CRAP MORE DIRT AT THE BOTTOM!!"... frantic plough stop... thigh-burning plough stop.... skate skate skate...

(repeat for six miles)

We had a great time, though. My favorite stretch was the underpass where we got to go down a very steep slope at full speed with two motorcycle cops leading the way.

My voice may be gone, but the quilting goes on!

I have laryngitis. Boo! This makes it very hard to teach, especially when my final projects happen to be fairly complicated and require a lot of explaining... this makes me sad. It's too bad that my "cries of anguish" are limited to making little fart noises with my mouth. Pthbbbbt on my lack of a voice. PTHBBBBT.

One thing is cheering me up like crazy, though. I've just started getting emails from some Kansas City Roller Warriors who are donating to the quilt. Yay for contributions from afar! I'm beyond excited to get quilty-goodness from skaters I've never met. My fantasy is to have this quilt be filled with squares from skaters and refs from across the country. Hopefully this will become a reality soon.

Thank you viaderby.com

I just cleaned my bearings for the first time using this demo as a reference. This made MUCH more sense than any of the written ones, even the pamphlet that came with my Bones Speed Cream. Thanks Viaderby!

I <3 refs.

Let me just say that every skater should spend time helping the refs and/or reffing themselves every once in a while. Holy crap, what a hard job. A nearby league had its first scrimmage tonight and they were short on refs, so I got to help out. I think I was as nervous as the skaters! I'm sure I totally stumbled my way through it... I know I missed about a million "blocking out of bounds," "forearms," "back blocking," and "elbows" minors and one major that I still can't quite explain or understand. However, I learned SO MUCH tonight that my head is swimming.

After tonight, I don't think I can ever get pissed about a call, no matter how "obvious" I think it is. I don't think I've ever done anything that complicated in my entire life. My hat is so off to you refs out there. How do you keep track of it all?

I had an absolute blast, though. :D

I suppose we do skate backwards sometimes...

I've heard tell of these things, but this is the first time I've seen footage. I love their short educational videos! I don't necessarily see myself using a power slide or backwards blocking any time soon (I would totally fall on my ass), this helps me understand the mechanics.

If I weren't in love with a ape, this would be my boyfriend:

I love robots. I also love roller skating. It's a match made in heaven.

Want to see the quilt so far?

I scrimmaged! Holy crap!

I’m elated. You have no idea.

I scrimmaged, and I didn’t fall apart, I didn’t break my neck, I didn’t break anyone else’s neck, and I also did the following:

-had no trouble at all keeping up with the pack. This was my main goal and I accomplished it. Hooray!
-didn’t get one penalty. Granted, I wasn’t terribly aggressive, but still, no penalties!
-I tried every blocking position and did something successful in each one, even if it was a small success.
-I had a great moment when my brain made my body go in for a hit before I said to myself "there is the jammer, I should hit her now". Granted, I missed, but it was like that first moment in Spanish class when I thought "mantequilla" instead of "butter in Spanish is... mantequilla". Does that make sense?

Plus, I can’t even say how much it meant to me when people told me I didwellafterwards. I was in tears by the time we started stretching because I was so happy. I feel like such a sap, but I freely admit that I totally burst into crazy "I’m so happy" sobs when I got home and told Steve all about it. It just feels sogoodto finally be able to play.

Must... find... silver... lining....

Weak people give up. I am not a weak person, therefore I will take pleasure in the following positive aspects of not being able to skate right now:

1. I can spend more time working out my arms, which have gone all small and wussy since trading weight-lifting time for roller derby time.
2. I can go to scrimmages and watch so I can keep learning. Being more of a visual learner than a kinesthetic learner, this will only help me in the long run.
3. Favoring my left leg for a while will help it get stronger, and since that's the one that gets tired all the time (yay skating counter-clockwise!), this is helpful anyway.
4. Since breaking my tailbone, I never expected to bout this season anyway, so only missing out on scrimmages right now. These take place every weekend, so there will be plenty more waiting for me when I get better again.

So while I feel like I'm trying to stand up in pounding surf (being knocked down by wave, after wave, after wave just as I get to my feet), I'll get to my goddamned feet if I keep at it. I figure I'll just have really strong quads after getting up from falling down so many times.

"You've got to find the person holding the voodoo doll, really." - Mrs. Dash

Tonight's scrimmage was filled with both good and bad things. The good:

1. I hit the opposing jammer a few times. I also made the attempt a few more times, but missed. This is a vast improvement on last week's scrimmage where I only tried to hit someone once. Hooray!
2. I booty blocked members of the opposing team a few times. I didn't hold them for very long, but I consciously said "get in her way!" and did so. HUGE improvement over last week, when I know I had the opposing jammer behind me, but didn't do much about it. Hooray again!
3. We only had nine people on our team, so I skated in about half of the jams. It was exhausting as hell, but it was great to have so many chances to improve on the jam before. Triple hooray!

The bad:

1. I gave the single worst whip of my life that resulted in both my left arm and my team's jammer getting sandwiched in between roughly half of the opposing team. That was pretty cringe-worthy, and it hurt like a bitch.
2. I took my first trip to the box. However, that's not too bad, because it means I was playing more aggressively. I suppose this could fall under "good" too...
3. I took a fall during which my legstriedto do the right thing (fall on my knees) but I slipped on something and my right leg went in two directions at once. Something popped in my knee. I don't know how bad it is, but I couldn't really walk well on it. Yes, I will be going to the doctor tomorrow.

So, while I'm proud of what I did, I'm really concerned about my knee. I know that the "pop" I felt was serious - I've sprained my ankle enough times to know a sprain when I feel one. I wouldn't be half so concerned if this were an isolated incident.... this is the knee with really bad tendonitis. Since coming back from breaking my tailbone, it's been grinding really badly, and over the past three weeks it's felt "loose". I'm really worried that this was coming, with or without the fall.

I just hope I'll be off skates for, say, a few weeks to a month or two. I think it's a possibility that I'm looking at more time than that, and I'll be so upset if that's the case....

Dash was right. I really do need to find (and take out) the person holding the little Dread voodoo doll before he or she does me some serious damage. I just want to play roller derby, godammit. I'll wait as long as I have to, but this injury crap is really starting to piss me off.

In summation, this is how I feel today, with God/Zeus/Odin/whatever as the pidgeon and the sad little boy as me:

Doing ok.

Practice was fun tonight, and there were some very silly moments that were especially excellent. I like it when coaches joke around, or when I can get in a conversation about farts with Ms. Dash, or when Speedy Dan reacts well to me giving him the finger during a tough drill.

However, I’m psyched about the three newly-teamed skaters. Congrats Xena, Pitts, and Bully! Three down, three to go.

In the spirit of my last post...

That last post really made me feel great. I’m going to do it again.

Tonight I went to visit the Skate Free or Die girls for their Thursday night practice, and I felt great about the following things, again, in reverse order:

1. I gave a few good whips.
2. I managed to stay on my feet when I suddenly found myself skating one-legged after dodging a fallen skater. I also didn’t smack Doom in the face when I had to use my right arm for balance.
3. I finally really get the art of looking over only one shoulder when booty blocking. The idea that "when you can’t see her, you know to move that way" never clicked before and I tended to rely more on really good guesses.
4. When I did fall down, I landed immediately on both knees, rockstar style. I had no idea I was even doing it, but my body just took over. Hooray for muscle memory!!!

Oh, and I suppose I could add doing this practice after Speedy Dan, which was pretty exhausting. Here’s to my quads for refusing to give up.

20... lower... faster.... 19... lower... faster...

In an effort to stop being such a mopey-pants, I’m going to list some things that I did during practice that I’m proud of:

1. After not being able to figure out how to do the "crack on thigh with whip" drill for a few weeks, I have a fairly passable one for the first time ever. Yay!

2. I made it through three rounds of Speedy Dan "20 laps super-fast OMGOMOMG FASTER!!!" training without passing out, vomiting, or stabbing him in both eyes.*

3. I managed a few bursts of speed at times when I was so tired I thought I was going to die (or at least crap my pants a little).

These are in order from smallest to largest victory. 3 is a huge deal for me, and I can go to bed feeling really good about myself. Even though my poor coccyx was on FIRE through the whole thing I didn’t stop, and I even skated harder than I thought I could when I felt my absolute worst.

Even though I’m in pain, I feel good inside. That’s the best feeling ever.

* Don’t get me wrong. I love the guy when I’m not skating in his drills, and after his drills I’m grateful for the training. During the drills though, I want to stab him and stab him and stab him forever.

Rollerskating in ye olden days.