Skating?

I'm taking a crack at skating tonight at an open skate. I figure if I skate veeeeerrrryyy gingerly and don't try to be a hero, I should be ok. Wish me luck NOT falling on my ass and fucking myself up again. :D

I feel like such a weenie. I'm actually nervous about a goddamned open skate. Yeesh, get over it, Jess.

Yup. Broken.

Hooray! I apparently did "break the hell out of" my tailbone. At least this happened at the last practice before a short break. Granted, I'm supposed to be staying home for a few days to rest, but that's a bit tough when it's the last week before the holiday break and we have no subs because everyone else is out "sick" and is "recovering" in sunny Bermuda.

It really sucks to actually be injured, but feel too guilty to stay home. What the hell is wrong with me?

Happy birfday to me.

All in all I had an excellent birthday. I had a great time at my party, I got some excellent gifts, and I ate lots of cake. Thanks to everyone who was able to make it. Hooray!

One birthday present I could really do without, though, was whatever I did to my tailbone during practice. Afterwards it hurt to sit at all, and I spent the night alternating between resting on each hip. When I woke up today I could barely move. I'm definitely seeing the doctor when I can, because I think I really hurt myself.

While I've heard that ice is good for tailbone injuries, I'm going to see if eating large quantities of birthday cake helps.

Hit and run.

Last night there was a hit and run on Memorial Drive. Some anonymous pig drove up onto the sidewalk and hit a man walking alone at about 2AM. He landed in the middle of the street, breaking god only knows what and losing consciousness. The driver sped off, and Steve and I were the first people to find him.

We were driving through the rain, talking about our night, and everything seemed fine. Then I saw a large lump in the street, and asked Steve "what is that?" He had noticed it too, and he said "it's a person."

Steve stopped the car, and his tail lights illuminated the man's body so people would be able to see him. I called 911 and Steve rushed to see if he was conscious. Two other people who had been driving behing us stopped too, and waited with us until the cops came about a minute later. They shut down Mem drive, and we waited while the ambulance lifted him into a gurney. The side of him that had been on the ground isn't something I'd like to describe or ever see again.

The cop took our statements, and he told us that the man died when they lifted him into the ambulance. Steve and I spent the ride home believing that we had just watched a man die. We went to bed, and I think I fell asleep some time after 4AM.

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. My father had heard about the accident on the news, and he wanted us to know that they had resuscitated the man in the ambulance, and that he was in critical condition. I was so relieved that I decided to give practice a shot after all. After calling around, I got a ride from Pussy, and was set to hopefully pass my last assessments and have a pretty great day.

However, when recounting the details of last night to Trixie, I remembered something I had forgotten from the beginning of the whole mess: I noticed the guy in the street because I saw at least three cars drive around him and leave him there. I went from zero to crying with rage in about five minutes, and after talking to Dash and Xena, I ended up sobbing like a baby in the bathroom until Steve could come and pick me up.

I have no clue why it took me until just before warmups, but it was like I hadn't gotten a chance to really think about what happened until that exact moment. It was like I was only just seeing what happened right then. I feel like SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN even typing that, and I feel like the biggest drama queen in the world for going to practice and freaking out like that. A much smarter person would have had the sense to stay home. I really should have. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm so embarassed that everyone saw me like that, but oh well. I spent most of practice sitting on the floor trying not to cry, and when I finally managed it I got up on the bleachers long enough to see the girls play blood and thunder. I was mortified, but glad I was going home.

Steve, Mike, and Terry came and got me, and I lost it all over again. I'm home now, and feeling better, but I'm very, very tired. I just don't understand how someone could drive up onto the sidewalk and hit someone and then just drive away. I suppose he or she was drunk, or not paying attention, or asleep, or driving too quickly. That person is beyond contempt, and that's not what has me so angry. I just keep losing it over the people who drove right past this totally helpless man lying in the middle of Memorial Drive. They had to go into the opposite lane to avoid him. They had to see that there was a PERSON lying on the ground and decide not to help. That is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen with my own eyes.

I don't know if we'll be able to find out if he survived it or not. I really want to. I just hope that the person who hit him is never ok. I hope the people who passed him do the right thing next time. I hope I never have to see anything like that again.

Note to self: don’t bite off more than you can chew.

Yesterday's first practice was great - while I was exhausted by the end, I still felt up to staying late for the freshmeat only practice afterwards. While I knew I had a lot to learn about contact, I still wanted to give it my best shot in the hopes that I would catch up quickly. That was before Chickie Cutlette found me passed out by a garbage can halfway to the bathroom.

Yup, after having to skate off the rink once to dry heave and then hyperventillate over the toilet, I tried to go back to skating. Big mistake - I still wanted to barf. I got as far as the trash can near the bathroom door, saw black spots and heard a whistling noise, and the next thing I knew Chickie was handing me a damp, cold towel while the left side of my head throbbed.

I regret focusing so much on strength training and so little on cardio at the gym over the past year. I need to get into better shape. Thankfully this isn't permanent - the more I skate the easier skating will get. However, it was still embarassing to pass out - I haven't done that since I had mono.

Since I don't drink, I've had a deficit of "... and I woke up wrapped around a trash can" stories. At least this gives me one.

3...2...1....Contact!

I think I finally found something I'm good at. :D

I passed!

I mentioned this in a bulletin (yes, it warranted a bulletin) but I finally passed my level 1 skills assessment! It's taken me many tries, but speed has been my achilies heel for some time and I am beyond proud that I've managed to work past that HUGE problem.

One of my biggest problems was that I took ridiculously sharp turns when doing crossovers. I could do great doughnuts, but circles bigger than, say, a VW bug have always been impossible for me. Because of that, I coasted for at least half of every turn, and that slowed me down tremendously.

I spent some time lamenting this fact in the car on the way to practice, and Xena larter noted that I wasn't pushing off with my outside leg.... at all. I guess I took the whole "pull under" thing too seriously. After fixing that I could finally control how deep my turns were. This shaved six seconds off of my "five laps in a minute" time, and I finally made it!

When I heard Kitty say that I'd passed, I completely flipped out. I was so happy that I screamed and got al teary-eyed. I saved bursting into tears for the ride home, but it was REALLY hard to hold it in until then. I'm so glad that I managed to keep control of myself until we got in the car, because if I had been sobbing during the pushing drill that took place after the assessment I wouldn't have been able to see where I was going.

I haven't been that happy since I found out I was picked to be a dame in the first place. I completely love this sport beyond all reason. The fitness, the new friends, and the ridiculously exhausting fun that has been derby so far are all great reasons to be a part of BDD, but by far the best is the fact that I'm doing things I never, ever thought were in me.

Even on the days that I really screw the pooch at practice, I'm still so proud of myself. I'm proud that I made the cut. I'm proud that I'm learning new skills that are extremely hard for me to develop. I'm proud that I've made so much progress since I first started. I'm proud to have lost my gut and my weirdly rectangular bum. I'm proud to be a part of such an incredible group of smart, strong, dedicated, amazing women. I'm proud that I go home every night after practice with a shit-eating grin on my face.

GOD I love derby. I am such a dork for this sport that I'm amazed that any of you can stand to be around me now that I can't shut up about it.